Not so lost in translation part I

"What the fuck am I doing all the way out here man?", woah, did I just say that out loud?
"Wait, WOAH, you're inside of my head maaan, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING!" replied Jahon while lifting his head up from some kind of meditation that he was in. We were in Panama, in a park on the shore during the night. I was standing on the concrete walkway elevated above the giant rocks that were loudly breaking the waves and he was sitting down on a bench. I was high on weed. We had just both come to the conclusion, respectively, that we exhausted our curiosity for travelling for the time being.

No, wait, wait, I snap out of it, I am no longer in Panama. I am in the loony bin, the nut house, psyche ward at Our Lady of Peace in Louisville, Kentucky. I am staring at a turned off T.V. in the common area. A typical bright lights hospital hallway, I was sitting in one of the twenty heavy chairs. They were brown with curved edges and plastic, so patients couldn't use them as weapons. "How long had I been talking to my self while in this trance-like-travel-back-in-to-the-past in my own mind?" I glance at the security cameras and wonder if any of the staff had been studying me while I was talking to my self. It was after all, the highest security floor I was on; where the catatonics, the schizophrenics and the bi-polar's with psychotic and suicidal tendencies came for healing.

A patient walked by me in a slow dragging-her-feet kind of way and stared at my shoes. She inquired why I had no laces, was it because I attempted suicide? I explained to her briefly that those were Sperry's which were slip-on's and the holes for the laces were fake. I also explained to her that I was there to interpret for another patient whom spoke Spanish. She, hummed and walked away.

Why did I recall so vividly that sentence and that conversation with Jahon? "What the fuck am I doing all the way out here man?" I realized that this time in reverse, that sentence meant my thirst for travelling had been reawakened and it was time to go somewhere. My brother had been pushing me to visit him in Okinawa and so, it became the logical choice.

I found a cheap ticket with Cathay Pacific for $850. I had no previous experience with this company, and rightfully so. Their route is mostly Asia and they just recently started flying out of U.S. I also found out that they are voted the number one Airline company in the world! Apparently in an instance where a malfunction sent one of their planes crashing downwards, one of the pilots expertly maneuvered the plane to land safely. This gave me a vote of confidence to forget all those recent Airplane crashes they've been showing on the news and go ahead and buy a ticket. They are also very flexible on changing your ticket. You can change your flight dates just two hours prior to your originally scheduled flight for just $100.

My flight to Okinawa was going well and I dozed off watching Larry David's Curb Your Enthusiasm. I woke up to everyone screaming on the plane while we were descending at a crashing speed. As we got closer to the ground I felt the plane rattling, I heard a boom and then darkness. I woke up in some kind of sunny jungle where I was in line to pick my next human avatar on a giant organic like transparent screen which floated between two palm trees. I exclaimed "AHA! Just as I suspected, resurrection!" I had to pick looks, attributes and statistic for my avatar which had limits. For example, if I picked to be really good looking, I had to forego a bit in the confidence department. I am not exactly sure why, right now, but at that time I picked to be a Jesus looking Arab from Babylon with long hair. As I re-spawned on earth I decided to seek out my mother from my previous life in order to let her known that death wasn't so bad and that I still loved her and remembered her. I woke up to Larry David saying "that's preeeeettty good, pretty good", still on the same airplane with about eight hours to our destination.

I briefly pondered life and death after my airplane dream. I usually have weird airplane dreams. It seems like there is no good death. If you lead a boring life, or simply are lucky, you are rewarded with a heart attack or stroke. Do they hurt less than being decapitated? Or shot? A few seconds of extreme pain can seem like hours, as attested by cops whom go through the training of being tazed. So dying in a crashing airplane, no matter how gruesome of a view to the survivors, is probably less amount of time in pain than someone dying from a heart attack. While at the last moment, the last breath, we all probably suffer the same pain. Therefore, this all confirmed, for me, choosing to fly on a new adventure was a good idea.

To be continued...

AT&T next: We'll make you an offer you can't refuse.

 Recently I had the misfortune of breaking my phone. My sweet Samsung Galaxy SIII had slipped out of my hands from about four feet of height and fell on some concrete. This happened to me many times but alas this last time was one too many and my poor sweet device lost its ability to transmit information to it's screen. My contract had expired with AT&T so I knew I could get a new phone for about $200 to $300 so long as I renewed the contract. 

 I went in to an AT&T store with the hopes that I'd be walking out with a brand new Samsung product so long as I signed a new contract. As soon as I started talking about purchasing a new phone to one of their sales rep, he immediately started pushing the at&t next plan. The at&t next plan is basically not signing a contract but instead paying for your phone $20+ on your monthly bill. Kind of like leasing to buy. 

 When I asked about the "classic" 2 year contract agreement and discount, the sales rep informed me that those were no good because it would add a $25 fee to my bill monthly and advised me instead to stick to the at&t next plan. Huh? What? Add $25 to my plan? 

My conversation:

Me: Why would you add $25 to my plan if I am signing a two year agreement?

Sales rep: Because you are not in contract right now so your $25 discount is being applied to your bill and when you sign a new contract you will lose the discount and will be charged towards your phone so it's better to get the at&t next plan.

Me: I am getting a discount? Which part of my account is getting a $25 discount???

Sales rep: Well, your data, uhhh, your phone bill, you are getting a $25 discount because you are not in contract.

Me: *Walks out of store*

 Does this make any sense? You sign a contract and they charge you more???? No, it makes no sense. 

 I spoke to a customer service rep over the internet just to make sure that this was true and indeed, it is true. If you don't understand what I am talking about, to put it in layman's terms, they made up a bogus $25 fee to charge you monthly if you sign a "classic" two year agreement (although you already paid $200-$300 for the new phone) just so they can push (and so it seems more affordable) for their alternate new "at&t next" agreement in which you are basically leasing to own the phone at $20+ a month for whatever amount of months you agree to.

 Needles to say, I just had my old Samsung GSIII repaired by some random store I googled up. Hopefully, one day I won't have to use at&t's service, but for right now, due to my job I depend on good coverage and that part has always been good.

 Regardless of that last, "only", good part ; with all my heart, fuck at&t http://mashable.com/2014/10/08/att-ftc-cramming-settlement/